I haven't written in my blog for awhile. I guess I have been feeling overwhelmed by the needs of the people around me, the devastation that I have witnessed family and friends going through. I almost feel like my writing about the trivial happenings in our house are an insult to those who are walking through the fire, whose daily reality is struggling for survival, who have experienced pain and loss and hardship. It has driven me to my knees in prayer, but also made me feel helpless and uninspired. Something happened today that helped me change my perspective...
Today was a BEAUTIFUL day. The sun was shining and warm, and lifted the blah feeling that January usually brings. Sidenote: Why is January such a yucky month? Holidays are over, snow is mushy, skies are grey. Anyways, I went to the store this morning with a friend, then came home and picked up Isaac and the kids. Isaac had a few hours before he had to leave for work, so we decided to let the kids run off their energy at the play place and feed them lunch. As we were getting ready to leave, Evalyn saw a little girl with cancer walk in. She tugged on my sleeve and said, "Mom, look at that little girl." Thinking she was going to comment on the girl's balding head, I was about to tell her to be quiet, but then she says, "Just look at her skirt! She looks sooooo beautiful." The little girl's mom smiled at me and I told Ev, "yes, honey, she is VERY beautiful."
I quickly put the kid's shoes on and walked them outside before my tears spilled over. I cried the whole way home. I cried for the little girl, not knowing how sick she was or how often she gets to be a regular kid. I cried for her mother, knowing the desire of wanting your child to participate with other children, but wanting to protect them from hurt. I cried for my little girl, loving that, while I saw ashes, she saw beauty. As I sat in the car with my husband beside me, listening to the chatter of the kids in the backseat, my heart filled with thankfulness and gratitude. At that moment, I made a new resolution in my heart: I will look for beauty in ashes. I will continue to write about the happenings of our day, trivial or not, thanking God that we have the ability to experience life and enjoy every single moment He gives us. I will enjoy my children, treasure my husband, and recognize the gifts they are to me. I will choose to see beauty.
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