April

April is my favorite month. We were married on April 3, 2004 so this year we celebrated our 6th anniversary. I meant to write a sweet, meaningful post on how much I love my husband and how wonderful he is, but that didn't happen. Even though I missed posting, he is a wonderful husband and I am still as in love with him today as I was 6 years ago. That day was one that will forever be burned in my memory (for good and bad reasons), but the most important thing was that, at the end of it, I married my best friend.It is unbelievable to me that it has been 6 years already. It has gone by so fast!
I also turned the big 3-0 on the 15th. I took it a lot harder than I expected. I don't think it was as much about getting "old" as it was sadness to be leaving my twenties. So many wonderful things happened in my twenties. College, graduation, moving to NH, engagement, marriage, babies. All of those things have been so life-changing and incredible, and I have enjoyed my twenties immensely. I just feel like the thirties are going to be the "hard" years since the kids will be going to school and hitting their teens all in the next 10 years! I guess I am enjoying them being little right now and am really intimidated about what the next 10 years hold for us. I did have a great birthday though. My friends took me out for a girl's night to see Date Night which was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. we had so much fun and laughed louder than everyone else.

My awesome hubby took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant and bought me a Nikon D 300 camera that I have been wanting forever, so hopefully I will be able to improve my photography skills after I finish reading the 200 page manual. Tech savvy I am not! I do feel like he gave me the gift of beauty since I will be able to capture what I see in a new way. I love him!

I am always a little sad on my birthday because it is one of those times when I feel the loss of my dad just a little bit sharper. He would always call me starting in March and tell me how many days till my birthday. He would try to find a special book for me (since that was a love that we shared) or a special present just from him. It didn't have to be expensive, just something that he picked out himself. I miss hearing his voice teasing me or telling me about the day I was born, how excited he was and how much I meant to him. I thought losing him would get easier with time, but the longer he is gone the more real it becomes.

Easter was also in April this year, and (thanks to my mom) the kids looked absolutely adorable! They were not thrilled about mom trying to take their pictures, and taking one of all three was almost impossible! I still tried to snap a few as they were opening their Easter baskets.




After church, we went over to Ron and Luanne's house for Easter dinner. She had gone all out with games, baskets, and an egg hunt for the kids. That woman is incredible! We had a fabulous time.



I love April for many reasons, but mostly for the promise of new life and sunshine. It has been a beautiful month weather wise, and we are soaking up the sun and playing outside as much as we possibly can!

Father's Day

Father's Day is a hard day for me. It really begins a month early in May, when they start putting out the Father's Day cards in the stores. I find myself drawn to them, reading this one and that one, trying to find the perfect card that I know I won't buy for the person that I know is no longer here to receive it. It is another day that reminds me of how much I miss him, how huge this void is, and how my life is forever changed.


I am so grateful that my kids have such an amazing daddy. I know many women think they have great husbands, but mine really is amazing. He is so wonderful with the kids, so patient, so helpful. I get comments all the time about how good he is with the kids, but people don't see the half of it. He just knows how to soothe hurts, both physically and emotionally. I am constantly amazed at how much grace he has for me, for our kids, and for others. I find myself wishing I could be more like him. I strive to be more like him.



Today, he read a Scripture at church from Proverbs 14:26. It says "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children, it will be a refuge." I am blessed that Isaac is the kind of father that teaches his children about who God is, how to love Him, and shows them by example how to serve both God and others. Even though Father's day can be a sad day for me, it is also the day that I celebrate my husband for the dad that he is, and the day that I thank God for blessing me with such amazing men in my life.

A letter from dad....

I have been having a really hard time lately. The 29th will be one year since my dad died, and it takes my breath away to think that I will never hear his voice again or see his face. Lately, I have been looking for letters or e-mails that he had written, wanting to find something that he wrote to me, but couldn't find anything since our old computer crashed and we have moved a couple of times. This really upset me to think that I didn't have anything from him.

The other day, Isaac was cleaning out a box in the garage that had been there since we moved. He found an old calander of mine, and tucked inside was a letter to me from my dad, written when I moved to NH five years ago. He had sent me a check, so I am sure I probably skimmed the letter and totally focused on the check, not paying much attention to his words. This time, I took in every word, every scratch of his pen. This letter was infinately precious to me, and I wouldn't take any amount of money for it. In it, he told me of his love and concern for me, his sadness that I had moved so far away, and his assurance that God would take care of me, even if he couldn't. The end of the letter said exactly what I wanted to hear, words of love and encouragement from my dad. It said this: I love you, Desha. You have always been "the girl next to my heart." I thank the Lord every day for the day you were born and God brought you into our lives. I am so very proud of you and your devotion to Him. That means everything to me. Love, Dad

I can't tell you what this meant to me, or how much it comforted me. To see his words of love in his familiar handwriting helped ease the pain of the coming anniversary of his death. It also reminded me of my other Father, and his compassion on a daughter missing her dad. Thank you God, for blessing me with such an amazing man as a dad, and a reminder of a Father's love.