Not Me Monday

MckMama is back with a healthy baby and Not Me Monday, so I thought I would celebrate with my own Not Me post!

I did not subject my kids to another weekend of hours upon hours in the car when we had just recently drove to Iowa a few weeks ago. My kids did not spend the majority of their time in the car whining and asking to go potty, and I of course did not ignore them and then have to pay for it later when Gavin had not one but two accidents. I always listen to my kids and never tune them out, so that certainly did not happen.

My husband did not ask me if I needed to go potty when we stopped to get gas. He of course remembers that we are adults and do not use words like potty when speaking to each other.

I always make sure my kids are well dressed, clean, and presentable, so they did not look like this when traveling...


and that is not chocolate on Evalyn's mouth that of course was not a bribe for her cooperation.

I did not do something so stupid as to change Judah's formula while we were on a trip of all things, he did not get constipated as a result, and I did not have to, ahem, assist him with pooping at Cracker Barrel while an old women stood next to me washing her hands and making comments. That would just be ignorant and embarrassing, and definitely something I would not do.

Not Me Monday....

Since I am terribly busy doing, well more important things today, my Not Me Monday post is going to be a short one. Check out MckMama's blog to join in!

When Judah spit up, I did not move my whole body so that it would mostly land on my shirt and not on the carpet. Even though it is much easier to change shirts than to get out the carpet cleaner, that is just crazy and would be weird to try and get spit up on your clothes, right? And I definately would not forget that said spit up was on my shirt and wear it for a whole day, only to change it right before my hubby got home when my daughter told me I "stink like frow up." I mean, I know the full make up and hair is out the window, but leaving spit up on my clothes all day only to have my three-year-old tell me I smell? I would never do that!

I love my kids and I love to keep them busy, so I would never have them doing art projects for any other reason other than the joy of seeing them create. I definately would not have them make over 50 cards for me to take to the nursing home on Saturday. It did not keep me busy trying to find new ways for them to make more cards, so we did not try every tecnique under the sun, like painting with sponges, brushes, even potatoes (don't ask) to keep them interested.

When we went to the nursing home, I did not bring my stroller in hoping to keep hands and mouths off of my baby, only to be overwhelmed with guilt when the ladies all gushed over him. I then did not promptly take him out of his seat, plop him in the laps of at least 6 different ladies, and watch as they all touched and kissed my baby boy. As I put my little man in the bath that night (smelling slightly like saliva and perfume), I did not have to repent for trying to be selfish with the little blessings I get to enjoy on a daily basis. Seeing their happiness as they enjoyed our children did not make me want to go there at least once a month, just to see them hold and kiss my babies and bring a smile to their faces.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not drop Judah when I was trying to get him out of his baby carrier yesterday. I am very careful with my children and would never do something so completely stupid. I then did not take him to the ER and have them look over every bone in his little body, do a CT scan, and cry so hysterically that the nurse asked me if this was my first child and that maybe I should wait in the examining room while Isaac took him in for the scan since I seemed a little "overwhelmed."
I am not still crying while I write this, thinking of my poor little boy and the scrape on his nose.

My daughter did not tell me that she was going on a "date" with her daddy today just like "true Love's kiss" (Enchanted) and that she was going to come home with "a wedding ring." She does not watch too many princess movies and her dad and I do not tell her at least 5 times a week that she cannot get married until she is 30.

I did not dance with my husband at a friend's wedding this weekend and smile ridiculously because he was the hottest man in the room. I do not act like a fool for him after almost five years of marriage. His dimples definitely do not make me melt and I assure you I would not admit that on my blog of all things.

I am not saving a whopping $20 a week in diapers that my son is no longer using since he is COMPLETELY potty trained after three and a half loooong years. Oh wait, I think I AM!

Not Me Monday

It is that time, once again, to talk about all the things I did not do this week, and boy do I have some doozies. Head over to MckMama's blog to join in on the fun!

I did not walk into the playroom as my daughter was watching t.v.and hear her say, "I saw a bra on t.v., mom! It was soooooo pretty. I want a Barbie bra with sparkles on it. I looooooove bras!" My daughter is only three. She is way to young to even know what bras are for, let alone be asking for one!
As my son was in thick of potty training this week, I did not find that he wants to to do things on his own, and therefore he does not try to take care of any accidents he has all by himself. This does not mean that I have found my hand towel in the laundry basket, used as toilet paper, with ummmm, skid marks, not once, but twice. He did not come to me and want to show me his finger, have me smell it, and then tell me he got poop on it and I needed to wash it off. I am waaaaaayyyy to smart to smell a three-year-old boy's finger when he asks me to, and that definitely did not happen. I also did not spend this whole post talking about bras and poop. That is gross and I am definitely more sophisticated than that......

Not Me Monday

I have heard it said that Not Me Monday is like free therapy, and I have to agree! Visit www.mycharmingkids.net for official rules and to participate in the fun!

I did not start potty training my three-year-old son this week. I would never have a child that age still in diapers. Especially after judging other parents that did not have their children potty trained at 2 when I worked at a daycare all through college and, you know, knew EVERYTHING about raising other people's children. I do not feel guilty about the many times I gave parenting advice when having no children of my own and have never used the words, "when I have kids they will be potty trained by 2." I do not now wish I could go back and smack my 19-year-old self in the face.

Because of potty training my three-year-old, I have not picked up poop off the bathroom floor more times in week than is humanly possible. Man those suckers can roll. Parenting is just as magical as I had always imagined and I do not do things like putting out my hands when my child tells me they need to throw up or spend my days cleaning pee off the floor. Nope, not me!

I do not have a daughter that is obsessed with Princesses. She did not tell me yesterday that she wanted to watch a movie about "True Love" and, when asked for a kiss, she does not pucker her lips, close her eyes, and tilt her head to the side. She is only three and is way to young to be thinking about true love or kissing, and does not walk around all day looking like this....


I am not currently sitting here with baby spit-up and snot on my shirt. I am not considering leaving it on so I don't have to add to the huge pile of laundry waiting for me at nap time. Nope, not me.....

Not Me Monday

This is my first "Not Me Monday" post! For more details and official "Not Me Monday" rules, check out MckMama's blog: www.mycharmingkids.net

I did not spend two hours at nap time going through MckMama's blog to find out what the names of the other three Mck kids were. I did not feel like a sleuthing genius when I found them and I did not immediately fall in love with Big Mac's name and then did not contemplate calling the courthouse and asking them if it was too late to change Judah's name on his birth certificate. Nope, not me!

I did not eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner one day last week and I am not addicted to Kashi.

I do not have kid's that 1.licked the bottom of the tub, 2.ate popcorn off of the pavement, 3.ate a lollipop that had been wrapped in tissues, 4.dipped their peaches in ketchup. That would be disgusting and I do not have gross children.


I did not tell my son that his veggies were special train food that conductors eat so that he would them. That would be bribery and I do not bribe my kids. Nope, not me!!!!