Beauty for Ashes

I haven't written in my blog for awhile. I guess I have been feeling overwhelmed by the needs of the people around me, the devastation that I have witnessed family and friends going through. I almost feel like my writing about the trivial happenings in our house are an insult to those who are walking through the fire, whose daily reality is struggling for survival, who have experienced pain and loss and hardship. It has driven me to my knees in prayer, but also made me feel helpless and uninspired. Something happened today that helped me change my perspective...

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day. The sun was shining and warm, and lifted the blah feeling that January usually brings. Sidenote: Why is January such a yucky month? Holidays are over, snow is mushy, skies are grey. Anyways, I went to the store this morning with a friend, then came home and picked up Isaac and the kids. Isaac had a few hours before he had to leave for work, so we decided to let the kids run off their energy at the play place and feed them lunch. As we were getting ready to leave, Evalyn saw a little girl with cancer walk in. She tugged on my sleeve and said, "Mom, look at that little girl." Thinking she was going to comment on the girl's balding head, I was about to tell her to be quiet, but then she says, "Just look at her skirt! She looks sooooo beautiful." The little girl's mom smiled at me and I told Ev, "yes, honey, she is VERY beautiful."

I quickly put the kid's shoes on and walked them outside before my tears spilled over. I cried the whole way home. I cried for the little girl, not knowing how sick she was or how often she gets to be a regular kid. I cried for her mother, knowing the desire of wanting your child to participate with other children, but wanting to protect them from hurt. I cried for my little girl, loving that, while I saw ashes, she saw beauty. As I sat in the car with my husband beside me, listening to the chatter of the kids in the backseat, my heart filled with thankfulness and gratitude. At that moment, I made a new resolution in my heart: I will look for beauty in ashes. I will continue to write about the happenings of our day, trivial or not, thanking God that we have the ability to experience life and enjoy every single moment He gives us. I will enjoy my children, treasure my husband, and recognize the gifts they are to me. I will choose to see beauty.

My little ballerina

This past month has been so crazy! It seems like I haven't even had a second to breath. I am loving the nicer weather, so we have been taking advantage and spending our time at the park, play dates, or outings like the Children's museum. Saturday was a very special day for Evalyn as she had her first dance recital. She was really excited about it, and loved her Tinkerbell costume. They danced to "Fly to Your Heart" from the Tinkerbell soundtrack. It was so cute! She has been taking ballet with her best friend Abby since September. They are quite the little dancers now. I remember being at the recitals of other people's children, wishing it was my daughter dancing on stage. As I sat watching Evalyn, I thought about all of those times and realized how blessed I am and how much I have to be thankful for. She was so beautiful and confident. It was nice sitting beside Isaac, enjoying our daughter together. Just a wonderful day. Here is a short video of them at rehearsal

Pain is beauty...I think

Evalyn got her ears pierced on Tuesday. She had been talking about it for awhile, and then two of her friends had it done when she went to ballet. She talked about it the whole way home, so I thought it might be time. We went to the mall, she picked out the pinkest and most sparkly earrings she could find, climbed up in the chair, held the stuffed puppy they have for these occasions, and submitted to the torture. Quite a few tears and a baby doll later, she is fine and loving her new look. She desperately wants her friend Abby to get her ears pierced too, but Abby is too smart to be talked into it. We shall see!